Chicago Restaurant Guide

I knew it! I told my girlfriend he wasn't Italian! He told us he was! He couldn't even pronounce "gnocchi" or "bruscetta"! He's got postcards from Greece on the walls and he pretends to be from Italy? What a sad clown.

It wouldn't matter, if he made good food. If the food were fresh and nicely prepared I wouldn't care if he was from Kenya. But the food is a disgrace. The Italian Anti-Defamation League should picket this goof!

I know exactly what that last review was referring to. The owner here actually PRETENDS to be from Italy! Can you believe that? Evidently, he's been able to make a fool of his own customers for years. Isn't that just weird?

Recently a dear friend visited us from Sienna in Tuscany. I thought it might be fun to show him our local take on his country's cuisine. We first tried to get a reservation at Mia Francesca's but were unable. My husband suggested we try Fly Me To the Moon, which is very near by. O.K. Fine. So I called to make a reservation for the three of us. The man who answered the phone clearly had an accent and naturally I assumed he was from Italy. I asked him what region of Italy he was from and he said, "I'm from the south."
We arrived for dinner and immediatly were stuck by how empty the place was. This was a saturday evening at 8 P.M.! Good thing I made a reservation!
Dinner itself was inedible, I honestly wouldn't serve it to my dog. And I don't even LIKE my dog that much!

FMTTM is a perfect example of a stale concept. A restaurant whose time has come and gone. A Cigar Bar in a City that no longer allows smoking. That's just a sad joke. The days of Tech-bubble millionaires smoking big fat stogies,talking too loud, and acting like jerks are long gone. Thank the Lord.

The one and only time I ever ate here was mistake. I was embarrassed when the owner came over to ask about the food. He must know how terrible it is. He's the one serving it. And friends, it ain't cheap here! In fact, it's one of the priciest resaurants in the area. That money is clearly not being spent on obtaining quality ingredients.

You would find better "food" in a sewer. Or at the Cook County Morgue. The decor looks like a Greek Whore-House. There is a thick layer of grime and dust everywhere. The bathrooms stink like human excrement. If you want to see who is handling your food watch the owner let in the homeless drunks at 4:30 everyday. 3:30 week-ends.